


Keep The Girl

by VintageDiva



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-02
Updated: 2012-06-02
Packaged: 2017-11-06 16:19:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/420867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VintageDiva/pseuds/VintageDiva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After leaving his small Indiana hometown in the dust and going to Nashville, Edward Cullen is on the brink of becoming a country music superstar. But he can't forget about the girl he thought he had to leave behind to make his dream come true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep The Girl

**Disclaimer: I own a Mac, a shit ton of books and a rather extensive CD and DVD collection, which would be a lot more extensive if I owned the Twilight series...which I don’t. I also don’t own any songs used those belong to Mr. Jason Aldean.**

**  
**

**Author’s Note:** I have been obsessed with country music lately and decided that there aren’t enough country singing Edwards in the fandom. Jason Aldean’s song “Keep the Girl” was my inspiration, actually pretty much everything by Jason Aldean was my inspiration.

 

**Thank Yous:** To the lovely Alex for being my pre reader and schooling me on how to use Blogger. The awesome Anna for her rock star beta skills and a special thank you also to Jaime Arkin for creating the amazing banner for Keep the Girl. To see it and lots of other goodies check out my blog: **http://vintagediva22.blogspot.com/**

***********************************KtG*********************************

Choices.

            On any given day the average person makes thousands of them. Do I want to get of bed today? What shirt should I wear? Should I quit smoking? Most of them go unnoticed because they become so routine they tend to be forgotten.

Choices.

            In reality they define our daily lives without a second thought. The small ones we barely notice since its the big ones we remember. You know the ones. Should I tell her I love her? What song should I sing? Which ring would she like? How do I tell her?

Choices.

            The big ones are the ones that can decide your life. The ones you can subconsciously put off or try to avoid making. The point when you have to decide which path you take, which dream you want to make come true.

Choices.

            Most of the time you don’t realize you made the wrong one. The time you took, all the thought that went into making it seems useless. The heartache you felt, the tears, all could have been prevented. It could have been prevented if you would have just gotten your head out of your ass and realized you could have had both.

            Fucking choices.

 

*********************************KtG***********************************

 

May 2010

            My forehead is stuck to the leather seat in front of me, not surprising since I haven’t moved since getting in at the airport. Exhaustion has sunk its claws into my body and I don’t feel like moving. The door of the black SUV opens and I roll my head to the side to see my manager, Seth, holding a hotel key out to me.

            “You need to be ready to head out at 9 a.m.” Seth says as I get out of the vehicle. “The interview with CMT Top 20 is at 10 and sound check at 11. Got it?”

            I grab my guitar case and bag before walking toward the back entrance of the hotel.

            “Edward, did you get that?

            With a nod of my head, I make my way to my room.

            I open the door and look around the generic room. They all look the same after awhile; same king size bed, same desk, same bathroom. The wallpaper was the only thing that changed and even that was beginning to look the same. Placing my things down I take my phone from my pocket and fall onto the bed.

            365 days of non-stop touring with various appearances and days spent in recording studios. It was in those moments when I was in my element. The moments when I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that I was born to do this.  After a slow start, things were finally starting to happen. My first single had climbed its way to number one and thanks to country radio, my new single was getting a shit ton of airplay. I was going to be performing at the CMT Awards and the tour had started to sell out many of the venues. With my dream finally within my grasp, I should be out celebrating.

             But it was when I wasn’t performing, recording, or giving interviews that I questioned my choices. It was when I was here in my generic hotel room, in a generic city, phone in hand wanting to call her.

            Her.

            Bella.

            I close my eyes as long wavy brown hair and sparkling brown eyes invade my thoughts. It’s May which means spring is in full force in Indiana. Winter would have become a memory as the landscape came out of hibernation. The lilacs would be blooming, their sweet scent mingled with the smell of fresh cut grass. If you were to walk outside early enough, the smell of damp earth and dew would fill the senses. The town would be abuzz as lakers arrived to clean their cottages and prepare for summer. Small shoots of green would be showing in the fields as the farmers prayed for them to be “knee high by 4thof July.” In just a few short months the tiny shoots would be woven across the endless fields in perfect rows of corn. The trees would be filled with green leaves and summer’s slow approach could be witnessed with every sight, sound and smell. It was her favorite time of the year.

            My thoughts drift to the way she always smelled like lilacs and summer. How we rode around with the windows down, music blaring over the speakers and a smile on her face.

_“Babe turn it up!” She yelled over the sound of the wind rushing past the windows “I love this song!”_

_“You love every song Bells,” I said laughing as she sang with the Kenny Chesney song from the passenger seat of my truck._

_“One day I’m going to be singing along to you on the radio.” She said with a big smile._

_“I wouldn’t hold your breath on that one,” I said looking away as my laughter quickly disappeared._

_“Mark my words Edward Cullen. One day your songs are going to be playing on that radio,” she smiled reaching over to take my hand. “You are too fucking talented to not get signed.”_

            A week later I broke her heart before leaving for Nashville. A month after that I signed my contract with Broken Bow Records.

            Looking over at the clock I see its 10:30 p.m. I wonder what she’s doing. Was she getting home from a night out with Alice? Was she in bed reading a book? Was she getting home from a date? Shaking the thought, I get up to take a shower.

            Later, I sat on the edge of my bed with my guitar resting on my knee and exhausted, but not wanting to sleep. Sleep meant dreams. Dreams of what could have been had I made a different decision. My dreams were of tear-filled brown eyes, words I didn’t mean and of regrets. I strummed lazily on the strings, a new melody developing. I sang the words that entered my head.

**“This life is, full of choices.**

**hard to make one,**

**all the voices, in my head.”**

****I kept strumming as more of the melody began to form around the words.

**“I go one way I lose everything,**

**I go the other way, same thing.”**

 

Putting the guitar away I fell back onto the bed and allowed sleep to come.

 

*******************************KtG*************************************

            “Dropping one spot to number two, that was Thompson Square with “Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not,” said Evan Farmer, the host of CMT’s Top 20 Countdown. “I’m joined by none other than Edward Cullen. Edward before the break we talked a little about how crazy the past year has been. How are you handling everything?”

            I looked into the camera smiling.

            “I have a great family and they’ve really allowed me to stay grounded,” I say. “I’ve tried to keep myself focused and not get caught up in the celebrity of it. I just go out and do what I love.”

            “Now the album’s been out for a few months, is it too early to be working on a new one?”

            “It’d like to think its never too early,” I say with a laugh. “The first album came together fast and I didn’t get the chance to write as much of it as I would have liked. The next album, whenever it happens, will have more of my material on it.”

            “So you’ve been working on new material?”

            “I’ve been messing around with some new songs here and there. I’m always writing but everything is still in the early stages. The focus is on the current tour and promotional stuff for the time being.”

            “I’m sure that you won’t disappoint.” Evan said. “Now, you’re an Indiana boy but obviously had to make the move here to Nashville, how’s that going? Homesick yet?”

            I paused. Of course I was homesick. I missed my family, my friends, my small town...and I missed her.

            “I love what I’ve seen of Nashville so far, but I haven’t really had a chance to get out and fully enjoy the city.” I say with a big smile. “I’ll always be homesick when I’m not back home in Indiana. That’s the downfall of coming from a small town, but Nashville has been a great substitute.”

            “Alright and with that we need to get to our number 1 video for this week, its one I’m sure you’re partial to.” Evan said with a grin.

            “Just a bit.” I said with a laugh.

            “ Edward, thank you for joining me today and good luck with the tour, I’m sure we’ll be seeing you again soon. “

            “Thanks for having me.” I said genuinely.

            “Well ladies and gentlemen, here it is, your brand new number one video, “My Kinda Party” by our guest Edward Cullen.”

            I wait as the segment finishes before saying my goodbyes and walking out to the waiting SUV. Seth is waiting, not looking up from his Blackberry as he opens the door.

            “Good job.”

            “Thanks.”

            “Ready for the run down?”

            “Lay it on me.” I say running my hands over my face.

            “Sound check in 30, downtime, openers go on at 7:15, then you’re on at 8:30.” I nod, it’s the same schedule I’ve heard for the past few months. “Off stage at 10:45, bus pulls out by 11:15.”

            “Sounds like a plan,” I stare out the window as I twisted my phone around.

            After arriving at the arena I was immediately ushered on stage. Doing shows every night had transformed the crew into a well-oiled machine, a few tweaks here and there and we were ready. Walking into my dressing room, I pulled out my phone to call home.

            Hitting the “End” button, I glance at the clock on the wall. I have about an hour before I was due on stage. Deciding to work on the song that has been stuck in my head since last night, I took my guitar from its case, along with my writing notebook and a pen.  Strumming the chords I hummed the melody as more lyrics filled my brain.

**“More than once I, packed it all up,**

**but I break down, blame it on the truck.  
Just couldn’t go,**

**just want to be out there making my mark,**

**lay down every night in her arms**.” ****

            I stopped playing and sat back on the couch, letting the sudden memory invade my thoughts.

            _Slamming the door of my truck I turned the ignition and flew out of the driveway, not letting up on the gas until I passed the “Now Leaving” sign. I could do it. I just needed to keep going south until I reached Nashville. I was finally making a name for myself within the region and even had a few record company execs come to some of my shows. I hadn’t told Bella about them though. I started to slow as thoughts of her entered my head. Could I leave her? The speedometer steadily dropped. Could I just leave without saying goodbye?_

_I ran a hand through my hair as I pressed down on the accelerator. No, I could do this, they would all understand. She would understand, she knew how much I wanted to make it happen. My foot let up as more thoughts entered my head. I could wait a few days. I at least needed to change the oil and check out the tires. The truck was old and Nashville was close to 7 hours away. I slowed and made a u-turn, heading back into town. Once I made sure my truck could make the trip I was going to go._

            A knock on the door broke me from my thoughts.

            “Edward, you ready?” Seth’s voice yelled. “Fifteen minutes till you’re on.”

            “I’ll be right there,” I say as I set the guitar down. I change into my concert attire of Wranglers, black t-shirt and boots, before grabbing my hat and heading to the staging area.

 

******************************KtG**************************************

December: 7 Months Later

            I stand at the bay window of my Nashville condo looking out over the city, watching as the lights glitter over the landscape. The snow was falling lightly to the ground, a far cry from the 5 inches my parents said now cover the landscape of my hometown. Winter in Indiana, the one thing I didn’t miss. I remembered winters past when breathing hurt because it was so cold outside. Weekdays that turned into long weekends because of school closings. I smile remembering going sledding with Bella, Emmett, Jasper and Alice after a particularly nasty snowstorm our senior year. 

            I turn to check the clock and saw it was just after 10. It would be an early evening, I had to be in the studio at 7 a.m to work on a few tracks. My schedule had finally started to slow down by the fall. All four singles, “My Kinda Party,” “She’s Country,” “Hicktown,” and “Tattoos on this Town,” had went to number one on the country singles chart. My album had held onto a top five position for 3 months and the tour had finished on a high note. Seth said that the label was eager to get me back in the studio. The new album would be finished by the first of the year, ready for a spring release followed by a summer tour. The first single would be released by the end of February.

            The silence of the room was broken by the sound of my cell. I pick it up from the coffee table and check the screen.

            _Mom_

            Smiling, I answer it.

            “Hi Mom.”

            “Hello sweetie. How are you?” her voice came over the line as a sense of homesickness washed over me.

            “I’m good, getting ready to call it a night.”

            “Aw, my little boy is turning into an old man,” she laughed. “Early day tomorrow?”

            “Yeah, we’re finishing up vocals for a couple of songs and I want to work on a couple that we already laid down.”

            “So I take it everything is going well?”

            “It’s going great. These songs are more me.” I tell her honestly.

            While I was proud of my first record, I had only written two of the songs on it. I was excited for fans to hear more of my songwriting on the new record.

            “That’s great sweetie.” I could hear the smile in her voice.

            “How’s dad?” I said, while sitting down on the couch.

            “He’s fine, working a few extra shifts at the hospital before we head down for Christmas. Speaking of which, I’m afraid your brother won’t be joining us.”

            “Why? He seemed pretty pumped to come back down last time we talked?” I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice. I hadn’t seen Emmett since the end of August, when he and my parents had driven to Chicago for my last show in the Midwest.

            “Rosalie invited him for Christmas to meet her family, he felt horrible about not coming with us but he’s smitten with her.”

            “Rosalie? Who’s Rosalie?” I ask confused. “Is that the girl he was seeing?”

            “Yes, they’ve been dating since the beginning of October.”

            “He mentioned her but not that they were serious.” I’m pissed. My brother never kept things from me. We may not have seen each other in a few months but we talked at least a couple of times a week. Obviously this girlfriend was big news and it hurt that I was just hearing about her.

            “Oh, I was sure he had told you…” she trails off and I could tell she wasn’t saying something.

            “Mom, there’s more to this story, what is it?” I say seriously.

            “Well, Emmett probably didn’t want to upset you or anything.” I hear the worry in her voice.

            “Why would telling me he had a new girlfriend upset me?”

            “Rosalie is roommates with Alice and Bella,” she says. “Emmett was helping them move into their apartment in Indy, that’s how they met. The last time we visited, he saw how upset you got when he mentioned Bella. He’s been spending a lot of time down there and I’m assuming, didn’t want to upset you. Although I probably just did the same thing and I’m so sorry honey.”

            I felt the hole in my chest split wide open at the mention of her name. Bella was down in Indy now. She had said for years that she wanted to move there. As much as she adored our small town, she loved Indianapolis. At least Alice was there, which meant Jasper was as well, since those two couldn’t be apart from each other.

            “Edward are you there?”

            “Yeah, I’m here. Umm… mom I gotta go. I need to be ready early tomorrow,” I saywith a sigh.

            “Of course sweetheart, I’ll be in touch soon about when we’re planning on being there. I love you.”

            “I love you too, Bye.”

            I hang up and run my hands up and down my face. It had been a year and a half, but I still missed her like crazy. I  avoided going home whenever I had a break in my schedule. She was starting a new chapter in her life, the last thing she needed was me going back and ruining it for her. It was my own damn fault and yet I was too much of a coward to admit to her that I was wrong. I made my choice and I have to live with the consequences, even though it killed me. The song I had been writing little by little for months started to fill my head once again. Going into my bedroom, I grab my guitar and notebook and try to get out another verse.

 

“ **I’m torn and it’s tearing me apart,**

**I want to go but I don’t want to break her heart.**

**Like a sword with a double edged blade,**

**its gonna cut deep either way…**

**  
**

            I scribble the lyrics down and read over the rest of the lines, making small tweaks here and there. I play the melody a few more times, making changes. Reading over the lyrics once more, I realize I will be in the studio a little longer than I expected tomorrow.

 

********************************KtG************************************

March: 3 months later

 

            “Billboard just released the numbers for next week,” Seth says barreling into the room. “You sir are going to have the number one country album with 468,00 copies!”

            I smile, grabbing my phone and dialing my parent’s house.

            “Hello,” my dad answers.

            “Dad, its me.”

            “Esme get on the phone its Edward,” I hold the phone away as my dad yells.

            “I’m here, Edward sweetie, have you heard anything?” my mother answers in a breathless voice.

            “Yeah, Seth just came in with the numbers.”

            “And…” my dad prods.

            “Number 1,” I say. I swear my hearing was in jeopardy from the high decibel squeal that comes from my mom and the yell from my father. I look over at Seth who was deep in conversation on his Blackberry.

            “Baby boy I’m so happy for you,” she was crying.

            “We’re so proud of you Edward.” Dad says.“How many copies, did Seth say?”

            “They're estimating 468,000.” I tell them, still smiling.

            “Oh baby that’s great! Are you going to call your brother?”

            “Yeah, he’s my next call, I just wanted to make sure you guys knew.”

            “Call your brother, I’m sure he’s waiting.” Dad says. “We love you.”

            “Yes, we do sweetie, we love you so much.” Mom says.

            “Love you too.”

            I hung up the phone as Seth finished his call.

            “That was the label,” he says staring at his phone. “The tour kickoff will be in Indianapolis. Dates will be announced in three weeks. Tickets will go on sale beginning of next month.”

            The last tour was put together so quick that the label only focused on major cities, Chicago being the only stop in the Midwest.

            “They are organizing a massive meet and greet and a sponsored tailgate party.” He continue. “Edward, they’re pulling out all the stops on this, they are behind you 100%.”

            I sit down and let everything soak in. My album was number 1, the first single has already sold over a million digital copies, my parents are proud of me and my label is putting all the support they could behind me. I am ecstatic, but there is still something that was missing. The smile on my face drops as I remember why there is something missing.

_Pulling to a stop outside her house, I turned off the ignition and sat there unmoving. I could do this. Tomorrow was the day I would finally go to Nashville and I couldn’t make Bella upend her life to go with me. It was better for both of us. I was shaken from my thoughts by the tap on the window. Bella stood beside my truck, hair in a messy ponytail, a tank top and shorts on, hand on her hip and looking beautiful. I opened the door and got out, I had to do this._

_“Hey cowboy, what are doin in there?” she asked with that sweet smile on her face._

_“I..um…can we talk?” I said, not able to look at her._

_“Of course, Edward are you okay.” I could tell from the tone of her voice she was worried about me. She didn’t know I was about to break both of our hearts._

_“Bella, I’m leaving tomorrow.”_

_“O-kay... where are you goin?” I heard the confusion in her voice._

_“Nashville, I’m going to try.”_

_“Baby, that’s great!” She said as she wrapped her arms around me. I closed my eyes and took a breath before pushing her arms away. “What…?”_

_“I talked to an agent, he said I can’t have any distractions. If I want to make it, I have to be fully focused on my music.”_

_I finally looked down at her hoping my face was a mask and saw the confusion, then realization of what I was saying._

_“By distractions you mean me.” The anger and hurt was evident. “Wow Edward, aren’t you supposed to actually be a rock star before you get an ego?”_

_“I don’t expect you to understand…” she cut me off before I could finish._

_“Oh, I understand. I understand that you think in order to be a big star you have to be a big douchebag.” She said angrily as tears fell from her eyes. “Whatever Edward, I get it, you’re going to try to be this big music star and you don’t want a small town girlfriend holding you back. After every word, every promise that you loved me, that I was the one you wanted with you forever. It meant nothing.”_

_“Bella, I’m sor…”_

_“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.” She said in a cold voice as she glared at me. “Don’t stand there and try to make this your only choice. Don’t fucking try to justify breaking my heart.”_

_I stood there silent as she turned and walked away. She stopped halfway up the drive and turned back around._

_“I hope you achieve all your dreams and they are everything you want them to be Edward.” She said before continuing up the drive._

_I got in my truck and drove away. I was almost home before I pulled over and started to cry like a baby._

 

*********************************KtG***********************************

June: 3 months later

            I stood on the stage looking out over the empty seats and the massive lawn. I had been to many concerts at this venue now those seats and lawn would be filled with people wanting to see me. Tickets for this show had sold out within a couple of hours of going on sale. Around me, the crew and band were finishing up the sound check and making sure everything was ready to go.

            “Edward,” Seth said walking down the massive aisle from the sound booth. “We need to get you over to the tent for the meet and greet.”

            I nodded, taking another look around before walking off stage.

            “The meet and greet is scheduled till around five. It will be fan club members, radio contest winners, pre-sale ticket holders and some fans that have been waiting outside the gates since last night.”

            I stopped walking and stared at him.

            “Are you fucking serious?” I said in disbelief. “People have been camping out?”

            “You’re kind of a big deal around here buddy,” Seth said smiling. “Now, after the meet and greet, there is the tailgate party. You won’t be going to that since the meet and greet is going on for so long.  Opener is on at 7:30 off at 8:00 and then it’s all you from 8:30-11 and then back to the hotel by midnight.”

            “Sounds like a plan,” I said as he finished. “Seth, your one-breath schedule delivery has gotten better. I’m proud of you.”

            “Smartass.”

            I laughed as we reached the tent.

            “Let’s do this.”

            A few hundred pictures, autographs and “Oh My God’s” later, the end of the meet and greet line was visible. I had been able to visit with a few people from home who had been lucky to win some of the radio contests and a few who were fan club members. Seth had informed me about halfway through that my parents and brother had arrived and were backstage. I laughed to myself knowing my brother had surely found the catering area by now. My laughter stopped as my stomach grumbled, Emmett better not have eaten everything.

            Half an hour later I made my way to the green room to see my family.

            “Oof!” I was knocked to the ground by a large solid object as I walked through the door. “Emmett get the fuck off of me. I can’t breathe.”

            “Aw, bro you’re still a pansy I see,” Emmett said getting up.

            “Still a big mass of muscle I see,” I said rubbing my shoulder.

            “Some things never change,” my mother said, her head resting on my father’s shoulder.

            I caught up with my family for a couple of hours before Seth needed me to head to the dressing room and get ready. As I pulled on my boots there was a knock on the door. A quick look at the clock told me that in all likelihood it was Seth letting me know I needed to head backstage.

            “Alright Seth, let’s do…” I trailed off as I opened the door. It wasn’t Seth on the other side.

            “Hi Edward.”

            “Bella.”

            I could only stare at her. It had been almost two years since I had looked into those eyes.

            “I’m sorry, your mom saw me and let me back here,” she said nervously. Her eyebrows scrunched and she looked down. “It was stupid, I should just…”

            As she turned to leave I realized that this was my chance to make things right. This was my chance to fix my mistake.

            “Wait! Bella, don’t go.” I said reaching out for her. She stopped as my hand landed on her arm. “I need to talk to you.”

            “Edward!” Seth stood a little ways down the hall. “Dude, you need to be out there in 5!”

            “Give me a second,” I said to him, not taking my eyes off her. “Will you stay for the show? There’s so much, I just, need to talk to you.”

            “Alice practically threatened Ticketmaster into getting us great seats,” she said with a small smile. “We’re dead center 6 rows back.”

            I watched her walk away thinking that if she was here then maybe, just maybe, I could make this right. I ran backstage and gathered my band. If I was going to attempt the biggest fucking apology I could imagine, I was going to need their help.

            I stood off to the side as the lights went out and the screams grew louder. My guys took their spots as I listened for the opening drum beats before walking on stage.

            “Indianapolis, you like the way that sounds,” I yelled before launching into “Hicktown,” my first number one. The set list was packed with songs from both albums. I hated going to concerts and not hearing my favorite song. When coming up with the set list for this tour I wanted to make sure my fans heard theirs. For two hours I felt the adrenaline coursing through my body as I fed off the crowd. They were jumping, dancing and singing through the upbeat songs and swaying, with cell phones or lighters in the air for the slower ones. I tried to look for Bella but the lights made it difficult to focus.

            As I walked off the stage after “Days Like These,” I knew that these final three songs were the perfect choices for tonight. Encores were one of my favorite parts about performing live. The thrill of waiting to see what songs were going to be the last of the night, which songs were stuck in your mind as you left a show.  I listened as the crowd started to get louder as they made out the shadows of the band heading back out. Putting my guitar over my shoulder I walked to center stage.

            “I suppose we could do a couple more songs, that alright?” I said to the crowd. I smiled as I was hit with screams and shouts. “As most of you know, I was born and raised in this great fly over state, so this next one is near and dear to my heart.”

            With that we began to play “Fly Over States.” I had written it right after a trip to L.A for a few guest appearances. A couple of guys were talking about how they would hate to be stuck in one of those boring flat states. I had shaken my head and laughed to myself. They would never be able to understand the type of beauty you see or the pride you feel growing up in one of those small towns.

            When the song finished I looked out over the crowd and took off my guitar, handing it to the stagehand that appeared at my side. Taking the microphone off the stand, I walked to the edge of the stage.

            “Now, I know that the west coast has their California girls and the east coast has their high society girls,” I said to the crowd.  “But I have come to realize that nothing, and I mean nothing, can really compare to the beautiful country girls that are here in Indianapolis tonight.”

            I stopped talking and listened to the screams of the girls in the crowd as they recognized the familiar twang of “She’s Country” filling the air.

            “So fellas I need you to get up and help me with this next one. Girls, have fun,” I said with a smile. “Let’s go.”

            It was one of my favorite songs to play and one that got everyone in the crowd rocking out. I walked up and down the stage, looking out into the crowd, watching as everyone was dancing and singing along.

            As the song ended I closed my eyes to take in the sound of the crowd. Here I stood on a stage where I had seen so many of my favorite artists and bands perform. This time the roar of the crowd was for me. Opening my eyes I looked around the venue at all the people, knowing the one person I wanted to be there was somewhere among the faces and I felt the smile on my lips. She’s here. My Bella was here.

            _Not my Bella anymore._

_But maybe, just maybe, she would be again._

            The lights dimmed as I put the microphone back on the stand and was once again handed my guitar. Strumming it a few times, I took a deep breath and began to speak.

            “I don’t think I have the words to tell all of you what tonight means to me. Being back here, back home and sharing my music with you is one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had,” I said looking out over the crowd. “Two years ago I was given the chance at my biggest dream, but I thought I had to give up the most important person in my life in order to make it happen. It didn’t take long to realize how wrong I was. This song is for her, because if I could go back I wouldn’t have decided between my dream or the girl, I would have chosen both.”

            With that the band began the song that I had been working on for the past year.

**This life is full of choices**

**Hard to make one**

**All the voices in my head**

**Those _brown_** **eyes I'm in love with**

**Or that highway which ever I pick**

**There'll be regrets**

**I go one way I lose everything**

**I go the other way same thing**

As I sang I could see so many memories of Bella and I enter my mind.

            _“Dude, I’m serious. Alice met her and said you two would be perfect for each other,” Jasper told me as we walked towards the diner. “She had that evil matchmaker glint in her eye. Watch out.”_

_“Jazz, the new girl’s dad is the chief of police. Who wants to have to deal with that?” I asked._

_We walked through the door and were greeted with the sight of a petite brunette shouting at the grabby retired town president._

_“Listen asshole, I don’t know or care who you are. Touch or stare at my ass one more time and I’ll send my gun toting police chief father after you. Are we clear?”_

_I watched as Mr. Newton nodded before getting up and walking out. The girl turned around and I felt the breath leave my body. So this was the new police chief’s infamous daughter._

**I'm torn and it's tearing me apart**

**I want to go but I don't want to break her heart**

**Like a sword with a double edge blade**

**It's gonna cut deep either way**

**This little town, that big old world**

**Chase the dream or keep the girl**

**More than once I packed it all up**

**But I break down blame it on the truck**

**Just couldn't go**

**Just wanna be out there making my mark**

**Lay down every night in her arms**

**** _Keith Urban’s “Raining on Sunday” played over the speakers of my truck as we danced. The headlights shined on us, causing our shadows to spread and stretch over the open field. I had been trying to come up with the best way to tell her for weeks, in that moment I decided to just open my mouth._ **__**

_“Bella,” I said looking down at her._

_“Hmm?” she said her head still lying against my chest._

_Leaning down so my lips were next to her ear I whispered three words._

_“I love you.”_

_She looked up at me with the most beautiful smile on her lips._

_“I love you too, Edward.”_

**I'm torn and it's tearing me apart**

**I want to go but I don't want to break her heart**

**Like a sword with a double edge blade**

**It's gonna cut deep either way**

**This little town, that big old world**

**Chase the dream or keep the girl**

**I don't know why I can't have it all**

**Need to tear down that wall**

**Between this little town, that big old world**

**Go chase my dream and keep the girl**

_“Baby, I have a question.”_

_I looked up from my guitar at Bella who was sitting in the grass in front of me._

_“Anything.”_

_“You haven’t heard it yet,” she smiled at me._

_“What’s your question babe.”_

_“Will you write me a song someday?”_

_“Of course.”_

_“Not now, someday when you’re famous and have millions of adoring fans,” she said with a serious look on her face. “Will you write a song just for me.”_

_“Bells, I’ll probably write more than one song for you,” I said looking into her big brown eyes. “Its not like I’m going to be famous though.”_

_“You will be, I know it,” she said with a smile. “One day millions of people will love your music and you, but no one will love you as much as me.”_

_I smiled as she closed her eyes and lifted her head back to face the sky, soaking up the sun._

**I'm torn and it's tearing me apart**

**I want to go but I don't want to break her heart**

**Like a sword with a double edge blade**

**It's gonna cut deep either way**

**This little town, that big old world**

**Chase my dream and keep the girl**

**I want it all, keep the girl, hey**

            The band played out the rest of the song as I looked where I hoped she was sitting. I needed to see her, I needed her to understand, I just needed her. The crowd went crazy as I waved, smiled and walked off the stage. Hoping that I would have the chance to explain to her.

         My stomach was in knots as I paced in my dressing room. I had walked past Seth as soon as I left the stage, I heard him call my name but ignored it. My hat lay on the floor where I had thrown it. Sitting down, I dropped my head and tugged relentlessly on my hair as I waited. And waited. I waited for the knock on the door, but it never came.             

Looking at the clock on the wall I realized that it was time to go to the bus. My heart felt heavy as I picked up my hat and my guitar case before opening the door and stopped dead in my tracks. Bella sat across the hall with her knees pulled to her chest, her eyes red from crying. I didn’t move as she got up and crossed her arms.

            “I sat in my room for days crying, I stared at my phone waiting for you to call. I eventually stopped crying but I still waited. Waiting for you to call and tell me you made a mistake, that you made the wrong choice.” She took a deep breath before she continued, her eyes tearing up. “It was a month after you left before I realized that you weren’t going to call.”

            “Bella, I…”

            “No, I’m going to talk,” She glared at me, causing me to shut my mouth immediately. “Alice and Jasper had to drag me out of the house and make me start living again. I was so angry with you and it hurt so much, but then I heard your first single on the radio.”

            Pausing, a small smile appeared before she continued.

            “You were doing it, you were making your dreams come true. I started to accept that maybe I wasn’t supposed to be part of your dream. As much as it hurt, I began to let you go. I moved to Indy with Alice and I was starting to let myself be happy.”

            Her eyes filled with tears and I wanted nothing more than to wipe them away.

            “Then I come here, and you sing that song and I realize that I don’t want to let you go. That I want to be part of your dream, I want to be there with you on tour, in the studio, at award shows. I want to be the one waiting for you when you come home. I miss you so much Edward.”

            As the tears fell from her eyes I took the two steps to her and pulled her into my arms.

            “Bella, I love you.” I felt my own tears as I held her tight. “I never stopped loving you and I’m so sorry that it took me this long to realize how wrong I was. Every day I realized that I should have been over the moon with all of it, but I wanted you there. Please forgive me.”

            “I love you too, so much.” She looked up at me and smiled. “Besides, you wrote me a song, told thousands of women you were unavailable and sang said song in front of said thousands of women. Face it buddy, you’re prime real estate. You’re mine.

            I laughed before kissing her forehead.

            “I’ve only ever been yours baby,” I said before leaning down to kiss her.  
            “Hey lovebirds, sorry to interrupt but Edward needs to have his ass on the bus 10 minutes ago,” Seth yelled from down the hallway, Blackberry in hand.

            “Seriously Seth?” I shouted back while Bella laughed.

            “Kiss the girl and get a move on,” he said before turning around. “Oh, by the way, the evil little pixie and the blonde surfer dude said to tell you that Esme has you’re girl’s suitcase and to call when you have time.”

            “What?” Bella said confused.

            “Looks like you’re going on tour with us chica,” Seth said with a smile before turning around and walking away.

            “Huh, guess it’s a good thing you forgave me, otherwise that would have been really awkward,” I said with a smile.

            “Guess so, now you heard your manager,” she said looking at me with a serious expression. “Kiss the girl.”

            “With pleasure.” I said before leaning down and kissing her.

 

Choices.            

            Most of the time you get one chance. You make a choice and it changes your life. The consequences have to play out and you realize that what you chose was wrong. But what’s done is done and you have to live with that choice.

 

Choices.

            There is the chance that you could have that choice in front of you again one day. Once in a great while you are lucky enough to fix your mistake, to sing her a different song, to tell her you love her, to propose at the right time, to tell her that you never even had to chose between her and your dream.

 

Choices.

            When you get that chance, you have to wait. You have to wait while she makes her choices, to love you back, to say yes and to forgive you.

Choices.

 

 


End file.
